Taliban

Taliban Jokes

President

If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.

9/11

I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.

The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.

Mexican

Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.

Walmart

Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?

A: Because there's a Target on every corner.

Drone

What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?

I don't know... I just fly the drone.

Orphan

Why can orphans never go to the shops?

'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.

Penalty

I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.

Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!

Friend

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

Parent

How do Taliban parents feed their babies?

"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"

Bar

An American walks into an Afghan bar. Joke, Afghanistan doesn't have bars because of the Taliban.

Dad

Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?

Terrorist

I was in a terrorist a famous terrorist group. No, not the Taliban. We called ourselves the Talabam.