Violence jokes
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"
HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Why did the clown stop smiling?
Someone chopped his lips off.
When the speedbump in a school zone screams, so you go faster.
Bro, imagine shooting a school for autistic people.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.
What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
Two boys are talking on the bus.
Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?
Boy 1: Oh, that's right.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if I had a brick, I’d throw it at you.
Rape is no laughing matter. The reason why women are not believed in rape is because of you mother fucking shitbirds with no future who will become drunkards and drug dealers who go broke and live on the street getting hit by a fucking car. Fuck all of you sadists who think this kind of shit is funny, well shut the fuck up. Go jump off a bridge or get hit by car and I hope you fucking sickos die.
Stop rape. Stop rappe. Stop rapibg innocent children and women and men. I am done with rape. I am done with it!
How are abortion and rape different? At least the rape victim usually deserves it and isn't defenseless.
How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2
-Harpoon it.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes! Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.