Vibe jokes

I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.

Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.

"BlessedBrian must be a SMOKE DETECTOR... because he never fails to kill the vibe."

My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.

So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.

I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful.

The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex.

It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders all the time.

If some girls are vegan, then why do they suck dick?