Vibe jokes

I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.

Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.

"BlessedBrian must be a SMOKE DETECTOR... because he never fails to kill the vibe."

What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?

I don't care if she has one.

So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.

I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm stroking my dick and thinking of you.

What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?

When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.