Some people think prison is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms? Because he told the man to put his hands up
A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point. The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."
Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "you forgot the remote"
Why are colds such bad robbers? -- Because they're so easy to catch.
Your so dam ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?
A black guy
A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands for money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."
The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"
So I was being robbed and this guy had the gun to my head to i told him he was holding it backwards.
Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.
What game do zombies 🧟♀️ like to play?
Corpse and Robbers
A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. "Jesus is watching you." The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing. A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. "Jesus is watching you." Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, "Jesus is watching you." The robber realized it was the parrot talking! Going to the parrot, he asks it, "Are you the one who's been talking to me?" The parrot responds, "Yes." The thief couldn't believe it. So, he asks another question. "What is your name?" "Ismael." the parrot replies. The man scoffed. "What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?" The parrot speaks yet again, "The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus."
Me: (pointing up in the air) "EVERYBODY LISTEN UP THIS IS A ROBBERY" Girl: "dude, this is a library" Me: "oh" (screwing on a silencer)
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "did you see that?" She says "yes", so the man shoots her. He leaves the bank and sees a couple, he asks "did you see that?" "No but my wife did!" The husband said.
What did the robber say to the clock?
Hands up!
Did you hear about the dyslexic wanna-be bank robber? He walked in and yelled "HANDS UP, THIS IS A MOTHER STICKING F##K UP! The lucky idiot got away because nobody could stop laughing!
A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him. When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded '' I don't know it all happened so fast''.
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers? So they will be wanted.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, hbu take my life.
