Robber jokes
Why are colds such bad robbers?
Because they're so easy to catch.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
Some people think "prison" is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?
A black guy.
Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "You forgot the remote!"
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.
A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.
The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."
A robber robbed a bank and ran into the road and got hit by a car.
The cops said to him, "That's CARma for you!"
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
What is the difference between an orphan and a robber?
One is wanted.
Robber 1: *gets shot in ass*
Robber 2: You have to shit in a bag for life lol.
Robber 1: What, the Tesco or Asda one?
What did the robber say to the clock?
Hands up!
Why can't orphans be robbers?
Because they're not wanted.
A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him.
When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
You're so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
Robber: This is a robbery, bitch!
Gunsalesman: No u