Violence jokes
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How? She could not run away.
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What do you call a circus show? A school shooter.
Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?
Everywhere.
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
How do you rape someone? By forcing them to do it with you! Please comment! Bad or good! :)
How do make an adult cry?
Stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.
During the election campaign of 2012, we heard about Obama, but we thought they said Osama. So I told my friend, "Grab his gun and let's have some fun." So during one of Obama's campaigns, we both shot him to death, which lasted a while.
Then my friend said, "Let's go get piss drunk at Mavericks bar." Then on TV they talked about Obama's death, and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.
Bullets.
What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises, and has a broken jaw?
"Will you listen now?!??"
When your husband can’t afford a punching bag, he uses his wife.
Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.
Why do most guns in America have an average mag/clip size of only 30?
Because that's the average class size in America.
Did you know that big black dicks can be weapons and can kill people?
Floyd Mayweather proved it when he gave it to Logan Paul in the ass.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RX XD INBOUND!
Roses are dead, violets smell like poo, I got a big fucking shotgun, what you gonna do?
Why did the boy kill his girlfriend?
Because he had a crush on her.