Violence jokes
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.
Where did Johnny go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.
How do you fit a baby into a shoebox?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Tortilla chips.
In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
Rape is a touchy subject.
A child was walking through the forest when a wolf jumped in front of him. The child saw that the wolf had no leg. He then became a terrorist and caused 9/11.
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
Q: What comes before 47?
A: AK
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.
Guess what song this is from:
"I'll cut you into little bitty pieces,
Or freeze you till your blood runs cold,
Or stab your till' you heart stops pumping.
I'm here to realize your wish from what I'm told."
How do you avoid getting raped? Never say no.
The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
"Rape is funny until it's your little sister or daughter getting raped."