Bank Robber jokes

Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?

Because he told the man to put his hands up.

Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?

Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.

Did you hear about the dyslexic wanna-be bank robber? He walked in and yelled, "HANDS UP, THIS IS A MOTHER STICKING F##K UP!" The lucky idiot got away because nobody could stop laughing!

Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?

Shut up and pass me the note.

Did you hear about the bank robber?

Turns out he got shot by the police.

And he wound up in prison.

An old lady in the bank told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands money.

Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."

The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.

Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank.

Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.

A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."