Violence jokes
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
"Dinosaur killing with a 2x4, no more purple dinosaur!"
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!
I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.
Gently throw a baby off a ten story building!
I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.
Violence breeds violence, nothing else.
X is for X-treme shooting!
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John Kreese's forehead broke when silver hit 'em in the forehead.
Kindly yeet someone!
What's the quickest way to get to a girl's heart?
What?
Chidori. :)
Dammit, I hanged off their nose off.
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
How many thots have I bullied?
Three. The rest are dead.
What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.
What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.
You walk into a room, and there’s a lot of people waiting in line to punch you... Yeah, that’s the punchline.
You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"