How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
What do 100,000 battered women have in common? The bitch was wrong!
Whenever I’m bored, I hit up my local orphanage and beat some of them up.
I mean honestly, what are they going to do, tell their parents? 😂😂
What’s the difference between a cat and a dog?
It’s easier to throw a cat against the wall.
When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.
How do you fit a baby in a glass?
A blender.
How do you get it out?
Explosives!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
How hard can you throw them!
How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?
It depends how many bullets you have.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
How do you rape a girl?
By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
Why did Sally die? She got stabbed by her mum.
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Mom, what happens if you swear at a church?
Well, honey, a tee posing nun with glowing red eyes and nunchucks will beat you.
Americans: Miles per hour.
Europeans: Bullets per kid...
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?
I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.
The terrorists got a killstreak of 2,996; they are popping off, bro.
I slit my wrists.
