Violence jokes
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
So I laughed at their chalk outline.
Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?
There, there, over there, and over here too.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.
I thought a few hits would cheer him up!
Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?
Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈
Memes
"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?
Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: The U.S. in 1919!
When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
My therapist said I have trouble letting go of the past. So I killed him.
Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.
The USA has school shootings. We Canadians have bus beheadings.
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."
Teacher: Tell me a moral story.
Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.
Teacher: What is the moral even?
Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.
Why did Arnold throw his clock out of the window?
It reminded him of Richard Clocks, a man convicted for knife raping his wife.
What did Saskia say to Brandon?
Saskia: "Can you rape me like you did Sydney?"
My dad raped my mom, now I have a brother.