Violence jokes

I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.

I took my mother-in-law out today...

I love being a sniper.

What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.

When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)

Why did a school shooter get banned from a game server?

He was caught aimbotting.

When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*

Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.

Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.

Violence breeds violence, nothing else.

I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!

X is for X-treme shooting!

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I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.

John Kreese's forehead broke when silver hit 'em in the forehead.

The best way to enjoy Port Arthur is to shoot through--a quote by hilarious comedian Isaac Butterfield.

What is the difference between a bag of chips and a gun?

If you pull one of them suddenly, everybody wants to be your friend.

Man 1: Knock knock.

Man 2: Who's there?

Man 1: Ice.

Man 2: Ice who?

Man 1: I crushed your head.

Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌

How many babies does it take to paint the walls red?

Depends how hard you throw them.

One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"

They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.

Knock knock. Who's there? Knock knock. Knock knock who? I'll knock knock you out if you don't stop.