Life Support jokes

What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? Flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.

My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.

I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.

My father said I'm too reliant on technology.

I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.

I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.

My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.

My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍

My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.

What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?

Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.

My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.

When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:

My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*

Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.

You're so boring that you make war veterans die quicker, and yet they're still on life support.

I was going to charge my phone, so I pulled a plug and put it in. Then, my grandpa wasn't breathing anymore.

My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.

I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.

31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.