Violence jokes
I was raped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?
School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.
(Me) Hey bro, tell me a joke!
(My friend) Your mom. *Starts Laughing*
(Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him*
At this moment, he knew he fucked up.
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What's a suicide bomber's biggest fear?
Dying alone.
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
"Dinosaur killing with a 2x4, no more purple dinosaur!"
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.
Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?
Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.
When is rape normal?
When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.
Gently throw a baby off a ten story building!
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
What does lmao launching missiles at orphanage mean?
I don't know, but it's messed up.
What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with the terrorist.