Dictionary jokes
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?
One of them knows the definition of no.
One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".
I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.
You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the party?
To leave everyone SPEECHLESS!
What’s a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
Words that have "ho" in them:
Thot
Whore
Asshole
Horrible
Horena (my ex gf)
My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.
When does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary on stage?
To DEFINE his rap game!
My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"
So I threw my dictionary at her.
An anti-bullying PSA and speeding PSA from the same creator meet one another.
The death toll went sky high.
A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.
The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"
She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."
The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the concert?
So he could DEFINE his own beats!
What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
High definition or addictionary.