What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bombers mind? His arse.
My Mother still loves me.
How do you stop a terrorist from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof? It depends on how thin you slice them.
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog, with a sudden inspirational thought he picks the frog up, shoves a fire cracker up the frogs arse, lights the cracker and blows the frog to smithereens. Now at school the teacher asks the class :" Has any body got any thing for show and tell this morning"? Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis". "Ok Johnny, What do you have to share with the class today"? Little Johnny then says " Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frogs arse" the teacher interrupts and says " It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum". Johnny then says " Fucking oath it wrecked ; him'.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his Grandmothers nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still waring them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour? Stopping it with a pitchfork.