Rope jokes

Suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry.

What did the talking rope say to the man?

"Just hang in there."

Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.

I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to join my family tree... She dropped the rope and ran.

I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)

Dentist: Open up, sir.

Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.

Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.

Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.

Dentist: Do you need help??

Me: Yep.

Dentist: ...

Me: ....

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)

A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"

What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.

You look sexy with that rope around your neck.

Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

Boy: "What do you mean?"

Friend and me: "We can show you."

Me: "I will tie the rope."

Friend: "I will push the chair."

My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.

I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.

What do you call an elite bungee jumper? An emo kid.

What hit the floor first, the emo or the apple? The apple, the rope stopped the emo.

Why don't you take emo skydiving?

They cut the rope.

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.

What's the one game emos hate?

Cut the rope.

It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.