Rope

Rope Jokes

Family Tree

I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to join my family tree... She dropped the rope and ran.

Sloth

What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.

Depression

Dentist: Open up, sir.

Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.

Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.

Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.

Dentist: Do you need help??

Me: Yep.

Dentist: ...

Me: ....

Poison

A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"

Suicide

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

Guy

I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)

Man

What did the talking rope say to the man?

"Just hang in there."

Emo

If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree, which will hit the ground first?

The piece of paper because the rope will stop the emo.

Emo

What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?

Showing them the ropes.

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  • Charity

    I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."

    Emo kid

    An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?

    The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.

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  • Emo kid

    Q. What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. The phrase "jump rope" means different things.

    Spider

    God creating spiders.

    God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"

    Interaction

    Me, trying to interact with people: β€œHey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”

    Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* β€œhaha what.”