Violence jokes
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
How does a terrorist feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane."
My therapist said I have trouble letting go of the past. So I killed him.
My therapist said, "Time heals all wounds," so I cut her.
When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.
The USA has school shootings. We Canadians have bus beheadings.
Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?
There, there, over there, and over here too.
How do u get 40 cigarettes in a pack?
U shove them down his throat. 🤣😂
Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.
Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."
I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.
I thought a few hits would cheer him up!
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
Your hairline got pulled back. You look like you've been climbing Chris, and you got smacked up by Will Smith.
DONE🔫
"Hola, soy Dora. Do you see the cliff? Say, "backpack." Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff, you will not peek. Did you just peek? Close your eyes, you silly goose." The end.
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"
One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.
But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.