Violence jokes
When you're angry, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
My friend thinks he is funny.
He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
Q: Why is it fun to hit an orphan?
A: Who are they going to tell, their parents?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"
The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.
Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: The U.S. in 1919!
Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?
Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈
When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.
I thought a few hits would cheer him up!
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
"Daveon, stop screaming for help because I broke your kneecaps!"
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
What kind of punch takes out 20 children and 8 adults? A Sandy Hook.
Why do you need an AR-15?
So my son can use it if he's being bullied at school.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Kamikaze!
Kamikaze wh—
おいおい、お前を殺して、その塔ごと地面に叩き込んでやるぞ! いいな?
How does a terrorist feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane."
Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.
The USA has school shootings. We Canadians have bus beheadings.