Violence jokes

Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?

Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.

I wanna fight Gwen!

Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?

A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.

Why is black mystery not an Airheads flavor? Because we already know what happened to them. *shot fires*

I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.

Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot some kids inside of you.

So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.

That’s the punch line.

Roses are red... blood is too... I wonder how blood would look on you.

Why are most school shooters mostly white?

Because Black lives MATTER.

There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.

Why did the terrorists crash?

They were doing the job they loved but not getting paid.

Lol.

Why was the American kid late to school?

Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.

This black dude goes up to an Indian guy and says, "What up brotha?"

The Indian guy gets offended and says, "We are not the same."

The black guy then pulls out a gun, and the Indian guy says, "Ok brother, ok brother, we are the same, we are the same."

Do the voice in your head.

I'll break your bones, b*tch.

My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.

If you're bored, just punch an orphan!

What are they gonna do...tell their parents?

What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?

Cooking the vegetables.

When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's Sketchers light up.

How do you put a baby in a blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?

How do you get the baby out? With a tortilla chip!