Violence jokes

Today was a bittersweet day...

Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!

I rule my women with an IRON FIST!!

Yeah, literally an iron that my fist is clenching against her face.

There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.

Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.

What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?

Watching their expression change.

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?

I was raped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.

What are the similarities of GTA V and 9/11? A plane can be stolen and crashed into a building by a bunch of terrorists.

My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it, but I'm not too worried. I think she is joking.

When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"

I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.

Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?

The recoil.

Here is a joke: Rape.

Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"

How many babies does it take to paint a barn red? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.

What's black and red and goes 90 miles an hour? A baby in a blender!

My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.

Chuck Norris once killed 50 people with a grenade. Then he threw the grenade.

Me and my stepmom went into the forest.

I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.