Violence jokes

What's big and yellow...?

A bus full of kids.

The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.

I killed a man in '94.

I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.

Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?

A: You give them a Sandy Hook.

My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.

Steps to win a Nerf war:

Step 1. Take out Nerf bullets.

Step 2. Load hollow points.

Step 3. Win!

What is a terrorist's favorite song?

"Pumped Up Kicks."

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It depends on how hard you throw them.

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?

There, there, over there, and over here too.

Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.

Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."

One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.

But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.

I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!

X is for X-treme shooting!

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I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.

Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.

First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”

Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”

A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"

How do u get 40 cigarettes in a pack?

U shove them down his throat. 🤣😂

Kindly yeet someone!