Violence jokes
Bored? Beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you do when you're bored?
Beat up an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
What kind of punch do little kids give to other little kids? The Sandy Hook.
Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.
Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!
I love punching orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their mum?
Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.
Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
This kid lost Kahoot, so he shot up the school.
One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.
So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.
How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.
*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."
When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃
When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*