Violence jokes
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their mummy?
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:
Here comes the airplane.
Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?
Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
You call it a school shooting.
I call it an unfair shootout.
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.
What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?
C4.
POV: The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
:me😐
Bring out your weapons, people.
It's bullying time.
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.