Violence jokes
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like they're going to tell their parents.
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their mummy?
Memes
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
What do Americans call high school?
A shooting range.
People are like trees. They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
True fact: School shooters aren’t dangerous to you if you're the school shooter.
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
POV: Your mum is a bomber.
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."
What did the orphan do when he got punched?
Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)
When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.
Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.