Violence jokes

I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and called him "hot wheels."

How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?

Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?

Shoot kids in them ;)

*School Shooter Walks In*

That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.

Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

A special quote: “I was gonna slap that girl into tomorrow!”

I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."

Chuck Norris strangled someone with a cordless phone.

So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD

Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.

That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.

You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

But at least lemonade came out!

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:

Here comes the airplane.

Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?

Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.

What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?

C4.

You call it a school shooting.

I call it an unfair shootout.