I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.
Violence Jokes
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"
What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?
Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!
I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."
What did the orphan do when he got punched?
Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)
When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.
Q: What is Chris Brown's #1 Hit? A: Rihanna
Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like they're going to tell their parents.
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their mummy?
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:
Here comes the airplane.
Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?
Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
