Violence jokes
Why the hell would I go to a shooting range when I could go to school and do it for free?
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.
Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last person who had a dream got shot.
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
A: She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
What do you call a terrorist at a cinema?
A box office bomb.
Columbine High basketball team will never be good again after they lost their two best shooters.
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:
Here comes the airplane.
Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.