Violence jokes

Can I pin your corpse to a tree?

I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?

A 24 killstreak!

How do you kill a sheep?

You lamb shank it!

What do Americans call high school?

A shooting range.

Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}

Sonic says if you're ever born, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Guys, I'm back...

Here's my joke:

What is blue and red all over?

Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

Not like they can tell their parents.

I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"

What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?

Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!

I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."

What did the orphan do when he got punched?

Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)

When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.

Q: What is Chris Brown's #1 Hit? A: Rihanna

Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.

What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?

His arse.

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

It's not like they're going to tell their parents.