Answer

Answer jokes

Psycho

    • I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

  • 18

    • Teacher

    • A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."

    Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."

  • 6

    • Dad

    • Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.

    Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

  • 30

    • Donald Trump

    • A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

  • 25
    • Answer memes

    School

    • A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."

    A boy throws his bag out the window.

    The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"

    The boy says, "Me! I'm going home now."

  • 6

    • Prince

    • Prince, please talk to me for real...

    Let's sort this out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Please, please answer me. I need an answer!!!!!!!!!!!! BTW, Princess, my name is Gwen, and I am not a faker!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Question

    • When someone says don't talk back to me, say, "I wasn't aware that answering a question was considered talking back."

    Wife

    • If your wife says: “What would you most like to do to my body?” “Identify it” is the wrong answer.

    Dad

    • I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.