Use jokes

Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?

Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.

I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.

At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”

How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?

Tell him that it is a confessional booth.

How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?

Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.

Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?

Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.

I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.

I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.

I guess you can say she had me in a trans.

Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.

I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.

He’s used to penetrating aggressively.

President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.

Oh well, that's politics.

You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.

How do butts communicate?

By using CRACK-BERRIES!

I used to think 11/11 was mistakenly 9/11.

Why don't rappers use the subway?

Because they don't want to miss their next rhyme.

My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.

It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.

Weird.

Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.

I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.

There used to be Wonder Woman.

Now we wonder, what is a woman?