on a date me - "I get to work with animals all day" her - "How sweet! What do you do?" me - “I’m a butcher.”

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.

Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.

Oxygen and potassium went on a date. I heard it was OK

at a date : he: i work with animals everyday me: oh how sweet!what do you do? he:I’m a butcher

What’s the best part of dating a homeless girl?

You can drop her off anywhere.

What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common? An expiration date.

I used to date a girl named Ruth but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.

Why do I only date orphans? Because they never have daddy issues

Where did the cow go on his first date, to the moovies

Why won’t my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.

Him: What’s The Difference Between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?

Her: What?

Him: Nothing, Either way you will be dating your Cousin

stephen hawking went on a date and come back with a broken leg, I can’t believe she stood him up

Why can’t pooh bear catch a date. Because he is always talking about his honey.

What’s the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus’s birth date

I’m 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend, I got heckled with “you’re a paedophile!” and “you sick F…!” Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!

Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?

Because he didn’t want to see the bill.

What do you call mo on a dating website? tissue face

What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What’s the catch? Aigh there maytee thy catch o the day be crabs.

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