As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.

Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

on a date me - "I get to work with animals all day" her - "How sweet! What do you do?" me - “I’m a butcher.”

at a date : he: i work with animals everyday me: oh how sweet!what do you do? he:I’m a butcher

Oxygen and potassium went on a date. I heard it was OK

What’s the best part of dating a homeless girl?

You can drop her off anywhere.

What is a pedophile’s favourite dating site? Kinder

I used to date a girl named Ruth but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.

Where did the cow go on his first date, to the moovies

What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.

Why won’t my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.

stephen hawking went on a date and come back with a broken leg, I can’t believe she stood him up

What’s the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus’s birth date

What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common? An expiration date.

Why do I only date orphans? Because they never have daddy issues

Him: What’s The Difference Between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?

Her: What?

Him: Nothing, Either way you will be dating your Cousin

I’m 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend, I got heckled with “you’re a paedophile!” and “you sick F…!” Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!

Why can’t pooh bear catch a date. Because he is always talking about his honey.

An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn’t go well, because they couldn’t connect.

The Cheerio Joke

Let’s say you’re in high school, and your popularity level was badlsed on what Cheerio you are. So there’s Extra-Frosty cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there’s the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there’s your cheerio which is the Chocolate cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who’s an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines. So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes. The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she’s going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; “Oh there want a punch line.”

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