at a date : he: i work with animals everyday me: oh how sweet!what do you do? he:I'm a butcher
I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don't like going to school
Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey
Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
Today I was asked to go out, by 20 girls. -- I was in the women's bathroom.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
Oxygen and potassium went on a date. I heard it was OK
What is a pedophile's favourite dating site? Kinder
*Visiting Alabama* Pop Up dating ads be like: Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com
Why do I only date orphans? Because they never have daddy issues
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat. She said nothing, so I took her to Africa
Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him Sudden Lee.
I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible! I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my date 😡
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said Chinese food, so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said Indian, so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out
Guy walks into a bar. Sees a hot girl. Walks up to her and says "your getting laid tonight" She replies "what are you some sort of psychic" He says "No i'm just stronger than you".
A woman went out on a date and said “I’m thirty one with the body of a sixteen year old” the man responded “wanna show me?😏” the woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “take a look”
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.
I want to date depression cuz at least ik they wont leave me
I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.
