Use jokes

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.

My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.

Weird, he usually uses a sock.

When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?

Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?

He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.

How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?

Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.

Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?

It uses Hershey pronouns.

I used to think all Americans were racist.

Now I've changed my mind. They DID elect an orange president.

Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.

I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.

I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.

I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.

Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.

Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.

What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?

They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.

Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.

I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.

An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."

Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?

I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.

Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "He was a little tardy."

I replied to her, "I thought they all were."

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "She was a little tardy."

I asked her, "I thought they all were."

Why was the bee’s hair sticky?

He used honeycomb.