Meat

Meat Jokes

Feminist

What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.

Vegetarian

Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?

Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.

Fish

What's the difference between meat and fish?

If you beat your fish, it'll die.

Gambler

A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"

The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."

"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."

The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."

The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."

"I am. But the steaks are too high."

Man

Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?

I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.

Priest

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

  • 1
  • Homework

    Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?

    Students: Eggs.

    Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?

    Kids: Bacon.

    Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?

    Kids: Homework.

    Refrigerator

    What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

    The fridge don't fart when you take your meat out.

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  • Cocksucker

    A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?

    Deer

    What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?

    Deer balls. They're under a buck.

  • 7
  • Michael Jackson

    Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

    They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

  • 7
  • Refrigerator

    You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."

    Spongebob

    Spongebob and Jacko have one thing in common.

    They both routinely place meat in small buns.

    Vegetarian

    Why do vegetarians give anonymous blowjobs at the glory hole at an adult book store? Because they don't want anybody to find out that they like meat.

    Alabama

    Why do people from Alabama abhor eating tacos and burritos?

    Because their meat has to be in bread.

    Vegetarian

    Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?

    They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.