Use jokes
Yo Momma so slutty she uses a SpaceX rocket as a dildo.
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a police officer?
Because he can't use a walkie-talkie.
Yo mama is so hairy that she uses a lawn mower to shave.
What is the difference between gross and kinky according to a Canadian?
Using a toothpick to remove human feces between your teeth after licking another person's ass is gross, but performing a blowjob on a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich, with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise, is kinky.
Miss Drake, can I go to the bathroom? I need to piss.
"Billy, we don't say piss. We say urinate. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Miss Drake."
"Very well. Now use the word urinate in a sentence."
"Miss Drake, urinate, but if you had any tits you'd be a ten."
Yo mamma is so slutty, she uses a submarine as a dildo because it's long, hard, and filled with seamen.
Why do people use terms like "sucky" to mean that they don't like something?
If something "sucks," shouldn't that signify that it is at least good for one thing and will bring pleasure?
What do hockey players and cops have in common?
They both use sticks to hit something black.
When they said sin was ugly to look at, I didn't know God would use you as an example.
I just got a taste of Kingston, Ontario's only transgender restaurant: 664 Bath. A Dairy Queen who used to be a Burger King.
What do Diddy and Turkish men have in common?
They both use lots of oil.
How do you get a trans woman to commit suicide?
Use he/him pronouns on him.
A father tells his 10-year-old son...
"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life."
His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186, leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great-grandchildren, and a 7-foot crater where the crematory used to be.
What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
Downey.
Q: What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
A: Downey.
Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use.
How do you get a trans woman to commit suicide?
Use he/him pronouns on him.
It used to be "My Body, My Choice" until Trump came to power. Now it's "Your Body, My Choice."
I used to think that I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagi-asian.
I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!
It's called "The Bad Batch File!"