Use jokes

I was in a library and a black guy came up to me.

"Where's the coloured printer?" he said.

"Mate, it's 2025, you can use any printer you want," I replied.

What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.

What do 9/11 and gender have in common?

They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.

I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.

Yo momma so slutty, she could use a tank truck as a dildo.

My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.

I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.

What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.

How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.

What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.

My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.

Weird, he usually uses a sock.

When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?

Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?

He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.

How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?

Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.

What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

Let us prey.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.

Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?

It uses Hershey pronouns.

I used to think all Americans were racist.

Now I've changed my mind. They DID elect an orange president.

Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.

I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.