I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator He’s used to penetrating aggressively
President Joesph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to, Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Deleware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place oh well that's politics
Three ladies were on a flight, when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing." The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich, and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great t*ts and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."
Your so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.
What do us emos all have in common? Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue alot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy
How do butts communicate?
By using CRACK-BERRIES
What do you call a US border hopper? A Mexican jumping bean
I used to think 11/11 was mistakenly 911
Why don't rappers use the subway?
Because they don't want to miss their next RHYME
My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs then she grew teeth
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language. Weird. Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
I used to believe everything in the Bible until I tell I read about the Jew giving out the free fish
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
There used to be Wonder Woman. Now we wonder, what is a woman.
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job, and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries
What do British politics and transgender people have in common? - Both aren't what they used to be...
My proctologist used to be a photographer, he took x-rays and told me to bend over and say cheese
Tuesday I was looking at my family tree and two dogs were using it
I met a fat chick at the beach. People started asking me what I use for bait. Or do you want us to help throw the Whale back in the water?
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory, one day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station,I told her so you can weigh yourself on the truck scale.
