Toy jokes
Why are sex toys something to stuff in your asshole and not a big racecar?
Why doesn’t the orphan have any toys? Because his Lego figures ran away too.
Why do toy bears have small eyes? Because they were made in China.
What do you call an autistic kid going down the stairs in a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels!
What do you call a kid on a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
What is the orphan's favorite toy from his parents?
They don’t have parents to pay for a toy.
Dog toys are getting out of control.
My mum's dog has a round bison bone.
Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.
Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?
I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”
Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.
Little Johnny paints them black.
Little Johnny went to a gun store.
Little Johnny made a big mess.
The cemetery people were getting paid.
Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.
You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
My dad came back!
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
What do you call dolls in a line?
Barbie queuing.
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
I accidentally walked on the Lego Batman mask.
I want my fucking feet back!
You should watch Ryan ToysReview because he's not mean; he's a very nice boy.
Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.
What's the difference between you and a Barbie? There is no difference. Both of your faces are fake.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.