Toy jokes

What do you call a kid on a wheelchair?

Hot Wheels.

What do you call an autistic kid going down the stairs in a wheelchair?

Hot Wheels!

What is the orphan's favorite toy from his parents?

They don’t have parents to pay for a toy.

Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.

Little Johnny paints them black.

Little Johnny went to a gun store.

Little Johnny made a big mess.

The cemetery people were getting paid.

Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?

I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”

You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.

Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.

Dog toys are getting out of control.

My mum's dog has a round bison bone.

Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.

What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

My dad came back!

A man walked into a fleshlight and died.

What do you call dolls in a line?

Barbie queuing.

Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.

Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?

His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.

*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*

Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.

LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!

Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.

Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?

I accidentally walked on the Lego Batman mask.

I want my fucking feet back!

You should watch Ryan ToysReview because he's not mean; he's a very nice boy.

Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.

What's the difference between you and a Barbie? There is no difference. Both of your faces are fake.

What do boobs and toys have in common?

Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.

Why did the little girl cry twice?

Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.

Prince/Lord Tallie: Leave Gwen alone for once! By the way, you are an idiot!

Gwen: The Prince! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE TOTALLY DEAD, AND SO I STARTED DATING TANNER! But don't worry, I'll break up with him immediately!

Prince/Lord Tallie: Oh, don't worry, I love it! By the way, can't we do our late-night talk? My Wi-Fi comes out just before we can! I love you even more! 😘

Gwen: Oh, thanks! I thought you would hate me! And yes, we don't have to chat at night, but the days are going to be choppy. I love you!

Tanner: Fuck off.

Kenya Bailey: Excuse me?

Gwen: Tanner, it was all my fault, I shouldn't have tried to date you so fast, and did you see the talk about the boring jokes?

Zre: Who the hell is Tanner?

Ha: Wait a second, he's your boyfriend!

Kenya Bailey: Okay guys, let's not get into your business, okay! Let's see funny jokes.

Ha: Yes, you're right.

Zre: Ok.

Zre: Still, who the hell is Tanner! But hey, this is your toddler's toy! Even though I thought I was a prince.

Gwen: I thought Prince was dead, so I started dating Tanner, then I realized Prince was alive.