
Toy jokes
A couple has sex in the dark every single night.
One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."
What is a nonce's favorite toy...? You.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Your father.
Dying mall be like...
"Toys" were us.
Goodbye, kitty.
Dying Canes.
What do you call a kid that's in the fire? Hot Wheels.
hot manz https://www.youtube.com/shorts/vVYvz5FR8Ds
So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"
The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.
After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.
What's the difference between a baby and a ball?
If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.
A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.
They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.
One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
(Girl) Do you ever blink?
(Doll) (No reply).
(Girl) You look like a mannequin!
(Doll) (No reply).
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
What do dicks and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
You're so fake, Barbie was jealous of you!
When your little brother knocks your two Jenga towers you made with his toy airplane,
You: "Hey, stop trying to recreate the Twin Towers!"
I'm like a teddy bear. I don't like to be fucked.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
