Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.
So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"
The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.
After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.
You're so fake, Barbie was jealous of you!
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Because they actually come back.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
When your little brother knocks your two Jenga towers you made with his toy airplane,
You: "Hey, stop trying to recreate the Twin Towers!"
Why didn't the teddy bear go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.
One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.
I'm like a teddy bear. I don't like to be fucked.
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn around.
Why I turn around?
Infopka.com
I found two of the same Lego Duplo sets, so I called ‘em “Duplocates.”
What do Rubik's cubes and melons have in common?
They have a history of separating colors.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?
They're the ones that make the toys.
"Bob it, twist it, pull it, hit it, turn it, twist it, slide it."
