What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.
Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.
If you think your life is bad, then people are discussing the gender of Mr. Potato Head.
I found two of the same Lego Duplo sets, so I called ‘em “Duplocates.”
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?
They're the ones that make the toys.
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?
Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?
Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!
This is my fidget spinner, I got it in my Easter basket.
When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.
George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because they actually come back.
If you spin a fidget spinner, You'll end up spinning it too fast. When you end up spinning it too fast, it will make you fly away. When you fly away, you'll end up in a tree. When you end up in a tree, you'll see that your friends are hanging out without you. When you see that your friends are hanging out without you, you'll run away in the woods because you're sad. When you ran away in the woods, you'll see a bear. When you see a bear, it will chase you. When the bear chases you, you'll build a fort to protect yourself. When you build a fort to protect yourself, you then notice you're lonely. You'll become friends with the bear. When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear. When you start to act like a bear, you will become a bear.
DO NOT BECOME A BEAR! NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER!
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?
He was stuffed.
Why didn't the teddy bear want to go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.
My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.
POV: Get a banana cleaner and use it as a sex toy.
Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.
What car do elves drive?
Toy-yodas.
