So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
Why did the heterosexual woman try to put a mask đˇ on her pussy? She wanted to protect herself from covid, but she did try to put a mask đˇ on her dildo, but the mask đˇ keep falling off the dildo.
I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
It's important to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Do you know youâre supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess thatâs why Catholics invented baptism.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didnât want them.
Wouldnât want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
....
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.
You should always wash your sex toys, thatâs why priest invented baptism.
You should always wash your sex toys, thats why priests baptise babies
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you Jesus for creating baptism.
POV: Get a banana cleaner and use it as a sex toy.
Why are sex toys something to stuff in your asshole and not a big racecar?
Why do orphans have sex toys? Because the uncle isn't there.
A man needs to leave for a lengthy business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isnât home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesnât need sex, because a dildo should work just fine.
He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts, âVoodoo Dick, the door!â
The wooden penis flies across the room and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. âVoodoo Dick, the lamp!â The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cashierâs desk and, once again, begins to thrust in and out. âVoodoo Dick, return to your box!â The wooden penis flies back into the box, and the cashier closes the lid.
The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: âThe cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand,â says the cashier. âYou must never forget that!â
The man nods and heads home.
Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip.
A few days later, the wife becomes very horny and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout, âVoodoo Dick, my pussy!â The dildo zooms into her vagina and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can but just canât get it out. The wife panics and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims, âHelp, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it wonât come out!â
The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief.
âVoodoo Dick my ass, bitch.â
