Toy jokes
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
Dog toys are getting out of control.
My mum's dog has a round bison bone.
Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.
There is an Afghan Barbie; it’s a blow-up doll.
Wanna play dolls?
I can be Ken, and you can be the box I come in.
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.