Toy jokes
What do dicks and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
What do teenage girls and happy meals have in common?
They both come with a toy.
What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?
It's a deady bear.
Why was Balls afraid of Magic?
Because Magic eight Balls.
If Huggy and Kissy ever had a kid, they would have a good lunch. *evil laugh* 😈
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
Dog toys are getting out of control.
My mum's dog has a round bison bone.
Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.