A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur and the rabbit says no So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It’s not dead or anything, it’s just too scared to nove
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? – A bi-polar-bear.
Why isn’t a koala a bear? It doesn’t have the koalafications
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth…
A. A gummy bear
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
two men are hunting. one asks: did you ever hunt bear? the other one answers: no, but one time i went fishing in my shorts
What do you call a bear without a ear?
Why didn’t the bear go to college? – Because bears don’t go to college.
Actually, It isn’t a bear joke, but bear with me here…
whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it
Why aren’t koalas actual bears? They don’ meet all the koalifications!
Why can’t pooh bear catch a date. Because he is always talking about his honey.
Why aren’t koalas actual bears? Because they dont meet the koalafications
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Knock knock Who’s there? Bear Bear who? Bear bum