Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?
He was stuffed.
Why do orphans love playing with boomerangs? Because it always comes back.
Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.
If you spin a fidget spinner, You'll end up spinning it too fast. When you end up spinning it too fast, it will make you fly away. When you fly away, you'll end up in a tree. When you end up in a tree, you'll see that your friends are hanging out without you. When you see that your friends are hanging out without you, you'll run away in the woods because you're sad. When you ran away in the woods, you'll see a bear. When you see a bear, it will chase you. When the bear chases you, you'll build a fort to protect yourself. When you build a fort to protect yourself, you then notice you're lonely. You'll become friends with the bear. When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear. When you start to act like a bear, you will become a bear.
DO NOT BECOME A BEAR! NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER!
An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"
The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."
What car do elves drive?
Toy-yodas.
So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!
What do you call a wheelchair kid that is on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
Why doesn’t the orphan have any toys? Because his Lego figures ran away too.
Why are sex toys something to stuff in your asshole and not a big racecar?
Why do toy bears have small eyes? Because they were made in China.
What do you call an autistic kid going down the stairs in a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels!
What do you call a kid on a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
What is the orphan's favorite toy from his parents?
They don’t have parents to pay for a toy.
You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.
Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.
Little Johnny paints them black.
Little Johnny went to a gun store.
Little Johnny made a big mess.
The cemetery people were getting paid.
Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?
I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”
Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.
