Toy jokes

George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.

If Huggy and Kissy ever had a kid, they would have a good lunch. *evil laugh* 😈

Why do orphans love playing with boomerangs? Because it always comes back.

POV: Get a banana cleaner and use it as a sex toy.

What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.

Why didn't the teddy bear want to go to the gym?

Because he didn't want to get ripped.

My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.

Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?

He was stuffed.

Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.

If you spin a fidget spinner, You'll end up spinning it too fast. When you end up spinning it too fast, it will make you fly away. When you fly away, you'll end up in a tree. When you end up in a tree, you'll see that your friends are hanging out without you. When you see that your friends are hanging out without you, you'll run away in the woods because you're sad. When you ran away in the woods, you'll see a bear. When you see a bear, it will chase you. When the bear chases you, you'll build a fort to protect yourself. When you build a fort to protect yourself, you then notice you're lonely. You'll become friends with the bear. When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear. When you start to act like a bear, you will become a bear.

DO NOT BECOME A BEAR! NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER!

What car do elves drive?

Toy-yodas.

An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"

The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."

What do you call a wheelchair kid that is on fire?

Hot Wheels.

Why did the little girl cry twice?

Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.

So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang because it actually comes back.

Why are sex toys something to stuff in your asshole and not a big racecar?

Why doesn’t the orphan have any toys? Because his Lego figures ran away too.

I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.

Why do toy bears have small eyes? Because they were made in China.