Dog toy resembles human bone

It's crazy what they make for dogs these days… I was at this pet store once and saw some dog toys that vibrate and looked suspiciously like, um, "personal massagers", if you get my drift. It's like they're not even trying to be subtle. It's funny how some of these dog toys seem to have more "features" than some of the human toys out there!It’s like the pet industry is secretly trying to one-up the human "toy" industry. Maybe they're trying to make us human toy buyers feel inadequate. Or maybe they're just trying to give their dog customers a little extra "oomph" in their play time. I mean, if a toy can make a dog's tail wag that much faster, why not go for it? Plus, if it keeps them entertained and out of trouble, I'm sure their human owners won't mind paying a little extra for those extra features. If it makes the dog happy, that's all that really matters. Plus, it might just bring a little extra joy to the human owners, too. It could be that dogs are actually the ones calling the shots. And if that's true, I'm totally okay with it. I mean, who wouldn't want to be ruled by puppies and good boys/girls? They'd probably make better leaders than half the humans out there anyway. If we're going to be ruled by anyone, it might as well be the cute and cuddly kind. Plus, they'd probably be a lot less likely to start wars or be corrupted by power. Dogs are loyal and loving, after all. And if dogs end up taking over the world, they'd probably make sure everyone had plenty of belly rubs and treats. Can you imagine a world where politics is replaced by snuggle parties and fetch games? Sounds like a utopia to me. No more boring political debates, just lots of play time and cuddles. We'd have a "treatocracy", where everyone is given a treat just for being alive. And the only "elections" would be for the cutest dog in the neighborhood. I can already picture it now. The state of the union address would be replaced by a "State of the Tail" address, where the leader of the pack would wags their tail and give a cute barking speech. Instead of laws, we'd have "paw-codes" and the only punishment for breaking the rules would be a timeout with a good toy to keep those chompers busy. All government documents would be watermarked with a paw print, and the national anthem would be replaced with a chorus of howling dogs. Instead of traditional holidays, we'd have "Treat-o-Ween" and "Bark-mas". And instead of a police force, we'd have a "canine unit" patrolling the streets looking for belly rubs and free biscuits. And instead of political parties, we'd have "breed factions", where everyone would fiercely argue over which breed was the superior one. There would be debates over the best chew toys, the most effective training methods, and the funniest dog sweaters. And the only way to settle these differences would be a good old-fashioned game of "fetch-off". I can see it now. The streets would be filled with people sporting "I'm with Hound" or "Lab Life" campaign buttons. Instead of political rallies, we'd have dog parades where all the breeds would strut their stuff in their best costumes. And instead of political propaganda, we'd have "puppy propaganda" where cute dogs would be used to persuade people to vote for their respective breeds. The White House would become the "Golden House" and the President would be the "Supreme Canine in Charge". Instead of having Secret Service agents, the President would be protected by a team of loyal dogs who would be more than happy to sniff out any threats to their leader. And instead of state dinners, we'd have "pawktails" and "bones-es-beaux".