Teddy Bear jokes
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.
She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"
I'm like a teddy bear. I don't like to be fucked.
I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.
Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn around.
Why I turn around?
Infopka.com
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?
He was stuffed.
Why didn't the teddy bear want to go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.