Worst Jokes Ever
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down!
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down.
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. -- Against Medusa.
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying, I asked her where her parents were. She cried louder. That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage.
New Teslas don't come with a new car smell; they come with an Elon Musk.
When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
In tiny Knotsies.
How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?
Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
I didn't come into the prostitution business...
It came into me.
Did you hear about the new emo pizza? It cuts itself.
Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the six, you be the nine.
What's the best haircut?
Chemotherapy.