Worst Jokes Ever
Go commit neck rope.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
My pencil sharpener when I bleed:
And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.
I love you like my cuts.
Deeply.
Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill. And now there's little Franky.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
Why do orphans support slavery?
They finally have an owner.
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!
What do you call a teenage boy who doesn’t masturbate?
A liar.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."
Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"
Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled children.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.
Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!
My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."
It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.