Worst Jokes Ever
Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.
"Hee hee touched me."
Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
What did the north tower say to the south tower?
"You're too young to smoke."
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.
Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.
Nobody notices your pain, tears, struggles, but why do they notice your mistakes?
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
My fish can break dance. Only for 20 seconds and only once.
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
What's the difference between a knife and my life?
A knife has a point.
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.
The worst part about church is that you're constantly switching between sitting, standing, and kneeling. I mean, why can't the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!
Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class.
Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.