Worst Jokes Ever
Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?
They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
What's the laziest mountain?
Mount Ever-rest.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.
My name, my address, and my phone number.
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are.
One day, an orphan threw a boomerang, and it didn’t come back like its parents.
Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.
What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
Roamin’ Numerals.
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? 1 baby, nailed to 10 trees.
What did one tampon say to the other tampon when they walked by each other on the street?
Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts!
Why do orphans go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
Why can't a t-rex clap?
Because it's dead.
Last night I burned down an orphanage.
There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
Why did the picture go to jail?
Cause it was framed!