My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
Girlfriend as God
Explanation
This is a funny comparison because people often pray to God only when they need something, and sometimes feel like he is ignoring them. The joke uses this concept to describe the speaker's relationship with his girlfriend.
Kamikaze
my friend thought it was gonna say she gets on her knees for me
ur mom
nice