Belt Jokes

Amazing Grace
in Puns

I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized, it was a waist of time!

0
Anonymous

When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself… #victoryroyale

0
Old
in Yo mama

Yo mama so fat she wears orions belt

Your dad

A man walks into a bar, he takes a seat and asks the barmen if he wanted to hear a blonde joke, the barmen replies before you tell this joke I want to tell you something, see the women over there, she is a black belt in karate, she’s blonde , see the bouncer over there he is also a blonde, see the chick over there with that pool que she is also blonde, also I have a shotgun behind the bar i’m blonde, so do you still want to tell your joke? He replies f**k that I ain’t explaining the joke 4 times.

7
Anonymous
in Number

What did the 0 say to the 8? – Nice belt.

0
Mnorman0500
in Dark Humor

Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself?

After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck

Anonymous

Seat belts are like the condom for cars.

Donald Trump
in Roast

Your so dam fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.

4
Hansega
in Fat

Yo momma so fat, her belt size is E for Equator

Hope this is funny

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. My first time in the air, my instructor informed me but he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane, and his buddy says "well did you jump?"the guy says yeah, a little at first.

1
Anonymous
in Fat

Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt

suiside_jennica

i told my mom that i have a crush she replied with: “so u like girls” i said: "uhm no no no " BUT im lesbian someone help how do i tell her without her hitting me with a belt??

Time
in Time

I tried to make a belt out of watches. But it was a waist of time

Anonymous
in Yo mama

yo mama so fat, she uses the equater as her belt

Anonymous
in Puns

A cardboard belt is a waist of paper.

School Shooter Memes

When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.

J
in Puns

What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.

BadJokes204
in Time

I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realised they didn’t fit me around the waist so I went looking for a belt. I couldn’t find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waist of time.

Anonymous
in Orphan

why do orphans like belts they remind them of their father

Anonymous
in Clock

I once made a belt out of clocks. It was a waist of time.