When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized it was a waste of time!
What did the 0 say to the 8?
"Nice belt."
Yo mama so fat, she wears Orion's belt!
Yo momma so fat, her belt size is E for Equator.
Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?
After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”
Seat belts are like the condom for cars.
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?
Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt.
I once made a belt out of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.
Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.
A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.
