Belt Jokes

i told my mom that i have a crush she replied with: "so u like girls" i said: "uhm no no no " BUT im lesbian someone help how do i tell her without her hitting me with a belt??

My sister thinks shes so smart she said only and onion can make you cry so i brought the belt out and she started crying

I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realised they didn't fit me around the waist so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waist of time.

A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge”.

The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt

“It’s really not your day, is it?”

why do men sag there pants so low and still wear a belt

the same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay

My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.

It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silluoette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.