Belt jokes

When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale

When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”

My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.

A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.

I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized it was a waste of time!

Yo mama so fat, she wears Orion's belt!

What did the 0 say to the 8?

"Nice belt."

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?

After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.

Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt.

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.

Your mom uses the equator as a belt.

Seat belts are like the condom for cars.

I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?

Yo momma so fat, her belt size is E for Equator.

I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.

Why did the kid cross the road?

Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂

I once made a belt out of clocks.

It was a waist of time.

I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.