Worst Jokes Ever
Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?
how do u make a emo kid jump? a bridge.
How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?
When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.
When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...
Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)
AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
Woman one: "I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell!"
Woman two: "Did that work?"
Woman one: "Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house."
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree?
It left him hanging.
I comforted my friend about his wife's death, until I found out who did it.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a Viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" she asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well, that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
By rearranging the furniture.
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.
Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.
Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.
Person 2: I know how to fix that!
... Next day person commits suicide...
How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?
None, it's all tongue and groove...
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?
Liam: I like you both.
Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to paris.
Mother: That's means you like dad more.
Liam: No, its because i like paris.
Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to America.
Mother: Why?
Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
Why is Black Panther every cop's worst nightmare?
He is a bulletproof black man.