Worst Jokes Ever
My ex-girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus driver's license.
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
There's something on your chin. No, not that one, the third row.
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"
"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂
So I was at home, and I went to take a shower, and I accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later, I needed my headphones to listen to music, so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our house only has one bathroom. Sweet home Alabama.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo.
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)
-> in reality, :( (sob)
depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.
Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.
I like Cheetos.
How do you fit 3 gay guys on a barstool? Flip it upside down.
I like my dates like I like my wine...
Locked in a cellar and aged for 12 years.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.
What's worse than ten babies on one tree? One baby on ten trees.
Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
I was crying when my dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
Americans be like: "Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road."
England be like: "Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road."
Russians after a car accident be like: "Here in Russia, road is road."