Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
What is the country that is always in a rush? Russia.
I wrote a song about tortillas...
Actually, it's more of a wrap.
Nessie is dying.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."
Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...
Bloody seamen.
My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!
Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.
Women be like men are trash, [but] forgets women raised those men.
I like dildos.
What is the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.
Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware.
Hudididada hada dudo
Hudididada hada du energy
Hudididada hada dudo
Hudididada hada ah ah ah ah ah BOP
....energy
I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.
Interfischl
Happy
Apple
Tea
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?