Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
What's an orphan's favorite game?
GTA, because they're actually wanted? Lol.
The teacher asked a young boy in primary school, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
To which the boy replies, "No."
The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet.
At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
"Shut up," she replied.
The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks, "Can you teach me the alphabet?"
But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet.
But his brother is singing, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet.
But his sister is singing, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet.
The boy replies, "Shut up."
"Alright, I'm sending you to the principal's office right now."
The boy replies, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
In the office, the principal says, "Who do you think you are?"
The boy replies, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The principal now says, "How do you think you'll get away with this?"
The boy then replies, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
Yo mama's so skinny that when she walks outside, she floats to Heaven.
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
Feminists think men hate them. MEN HATE FEMINIST KARENS. We already have equal rights. It wasn't always like that, but that was in the past. So, fuck feminists.
(Like if you hate feminists.)
Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?
What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!😅
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.
Uranus is larger than Neptune, but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke, also Neptune, don't kill me!)
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans! 🏀🏀😆😆
What's a book never written? Beautiful sights by a mountain, by a rocky hill!