Worst Jokes Ever

I think God is cool with abortion.

After all, he did kill his only son.

What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?

A baked potato.

If you are depressed, eat Panera Bread. It is so yummy yum yyum yum yum yum.

Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.

Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas From the bottom of my heart.

Orphan: Am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there.

Orphan: Realizes.

Why do orphans play GTA?

To be wanted.

Why do orphanages give out free phones?

So you can press the home button.

A person laughs every day.

"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.

When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.

You smell like tap water and cornflakes.

Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.

Them: You're ugly.

Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.

Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof.

What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?

Raped an eight-year-old girl.

There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"

The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

What did the Twin Towers get when they ordered an extra large pepperoni pizza?

When the pizza man got there, all they got was plane.

What is one plus one?

It's TOO hard!

Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.

Friend: I don't know.

Me: A black market.

Why did Steven Hawking go to hell, not heaven?

Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell.

I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.

I love working in an orphanage.

Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.

Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.

Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.