Worst Jokes Ever
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.
What type of cake can't orphans eat?
Home made.
Why can’t the orphan play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
What's the worst thing to hear in a prison shower?
"Drop the soap, we've got you surrounded."
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum!
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
My sister: You were born ugly.
Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
What would a Down syndrome Ben 10 alien be called?
Chromostone.
What's the difference between Nickelback and a nickel?
A nickel is actually metal.
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
Why was the gay boy fired from the sperm bank?
He was caught embezzling.