Worst Jokes Ever
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?
Because they don't know who's Homer.
I like George Floyd's new song. It is really breathtaking.
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.
What do you call Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Why did Michael Jackson go to Walmart? Because he heard boys' pants were half off!
Why can't Juice Wrld play Black Ops II?
Because he can't handle 6 perks.
Where did Lucy go after the bombing?
Everywhere.
What do planets read?
Comet books.
I moved so much stone today.
I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.
Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"
Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."
Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"
Dad: "That isn't the remote."
*Weird background music*
I got jealous when my phone dies.
My friend just got a new house. He told me to make myself at home, so I threw him out. I hate visitors.
Why can't orphans go on game shows?
You need a family member.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.
What do a school shooter and a lightbulb have in common? They both light up the classroom. 🤡💀
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
Ex: baby i miss u.
Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.
Ex: who died?!
Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson on a playground.
Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it, a genie came out and said, "You have 10 seconds to have one wish." Little Johnny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family, and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink, she says, "We should have this every night!" Little Johnny gets two cups every night, one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually, he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives it to himself, and his sister asks, "Where's my cup?" Little Johnny replied, "You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."