Jedi jokes
Why do Jedis stay single?
Because they use "divorce" (the Force).
May divorce be with you!
What did a Jedi say to Darth Vader? "You're not my father, I am yours!"
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?
"May divorce be with you."
Stormtrooper: What happened to the Jedi Order?
Palpatine: Slew it!
What is a Jedi's favorite Italian dessert?
Obi-Wan Cannoli.
Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.
*also him*
Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.
Why don't Jedis make puns that often?
They usually have to force them. (I hate myself for that!)
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
What do you call a Jedi that can use the force to fly?
A Jedi Flight.
Stormtrooper: Hey Palpatine! Luke is Vader's son.
Palpatine: Knew it.
How did Mace Windu die?
He fell out the windoo.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.
Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?
Palpatine: Screw it.
So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."
Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?
Yoda was in charge of scheduling.