Fuck the Green Bay Packers!
Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.
I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!
What do you say to a depressed person?
"I like ya cut, G."
TommyInnit said, "Long live the Queen." Look at where she's at now.
What's the same with a controller and a woman?
They both work if you hit them.
Sell PC.
Go to Croatia.
Try to fly to the US to meet female.
US won't let me in.
End up in Norway.
Female leaves me.
Female gets arrested by feds.
Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.
Just another day in the defib life.
How do you fit 100 rape victims inside a Mini Cooper?
In the ashtray.
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.
Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.
My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."
Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."
When it's been Halloween for a few months, but there's still a body hanging from your neighbor's tree.
Why can't the USA and England play chess?
USA has no towers and England has no queen.
I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions, decisions...
Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)
My mom asked me to stop making jokes about suicide.
I answered, "Don't worry... I'll stop soon."
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says "What's wrong?" The woman says "I've never been hugged before." So, the man gives her a hug and walks away.
The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says "What's wrong, now?" The woman says "I've never been kissed before." So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away.
The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says "Oh, for Christ's sake! What's wrong, this time?!" The woman says "Well, I've never been fucked before." So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells "YOU'RE FUCKED!"
So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.
The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.
What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
