Tell jokes

I was gonna tell a memory loss joke, but I forgot it.

What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?

The cow never made it.

Hey man, I was gonna tell a joke about 9/11, but it was just plane.

What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.

"Me tells dad joke often."

"I want to hear it."

"Me? You wouldn't get it."

I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."

Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."

How do you tell the difference between a girl spaghetti and a boy spaghetti?

Meatballs.

Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.

It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.

If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."

I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.

I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.

How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?

He starts to quiver! ;)

How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?

Every night he turns into a Golbat.

What do you tell a stressed-out Pokémon?

“Kakuna Rattata!”

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"

I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.

How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?

Are you 7/11 or 9/11?

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.