Tell jokes

How do you anger a democrat?

Don't tell him the truth.

Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?

I could tell a joke right now, but it's too dark.

I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.

She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."

Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)

That's it, it wasn't a joke.

How do you confuse a blonde?

Tell them to stand in the corner in a round room.

What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?

Telephone? No.

Television? No.

How then? Tell a woman!

You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?

If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.

We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.

Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.

I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"

Who is yourself, and why do people keep telling me to kill him?

We should stop.

Wait, but who is the orphan going to tell?

The boomerang!

I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.

Guys, this has to stop. Let's tell their parents. Oh wait...

The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.

What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.

How do you tell the difference between a girl spaghetti and a boy spaghetti?

Meatballs.

Hey man, I was gonna tell a joke about 9/11, but it was just plane.