Tell jokes
Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)
That's it, it wasn't a joke.
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
People always tell me to say no to drugs, but if I'm talking to drugs, I probably said yes.
Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
I could tell a joke right now, but it's too dark.
Who is yourself, and why do people keep telling me to kill him?
I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"
Guys, this has to stop. Let's tell their parents. Oh wait...
I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.
Last year, I got kicked out of the Hospital for telling COVID patients to stay positive!
We should stop.
Wait, but who is the orphan going to tell?
The boomerang!