What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?
The cow never made it.
Tell Jokes
If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
How do you anger a democrat?
Don't tell him the truth.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
People always tell me to say no to drugs, but if I'm talking to drugs, I probably said yes.
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
