Tell jokes

We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?

Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.

When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.

“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”

I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.

I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.

Why is the Reaper not funny at all?

Well, he tells dead jokes!

How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.

Hey man, I was gonna tell a joke about 9/11, but it was just plane.

People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.

The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."

Who is yourself, and why do people keep telling me to kill him?

I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"

I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).

I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.

Last year, I got kicked out of the Hospital for telling COVID patients to stay positive!

The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.

How do you tell the difference between a girl spaghetti and a boy spaghetti?

Meatballs.

"Me tells dad joke often."

"I want to hear it."

"Me? You wouldn't get it."

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."

Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."

The mailman came to drop the mail off.

Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.

Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."

Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"