Tell jokes
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."
How do you tell the difference between a girl spaghetti and a boy spaghetti?
Meatballs.
What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.
"Me tells dad joke often."
"I want to hear it."
"Me? You wouldn't get it."
Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.
I was gonna tell a memory loss joke, but I forgot it.
It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.
Tell your mom I don't like waiting in queues.
We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)
That's it, it wasn't a joke.