Tell jokes

What do you tell a stressed-out Pokémon?

“Kakuna Rattata!”

How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?

Every night he turns into a Golbat.

What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?

The cow never made it.

Last year, I got kicked out of the Hospital for telling COVID patients to stay positive!

We should stop.

Wait, but who is the orphan going to tell?

The boomerang!

I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"

Hey man, I was gonna tell a joke about 9/11, but it was just plane.

People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.

The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."

Who is yourself, and why do people keep telling me to kill him?

I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."

Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."

The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.

I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.

Guys, this has to stop. Let's tell their parents. Oh wait...

What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?

Just hang in there, man.

I was gonna tell a memory loss joke, but I forgot it.

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.

How do you tell the difference between a girl spaghetti and a boy spaghetti?

Meatballs.

"Me tells dad joke often."

"I want to hear it."

"Me? You wouldn't get it."