Tell jokes
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).
Student: How should I know, that's his story?
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.
I see a dreamer.
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
Memes
I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.
Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?
What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?
Do not tell an orphan family meeting; they wouldn't get it.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown.
But the punch line is too long.
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD