Irony jokes
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."
What idiot said to Stephen Hawking, "You can't run before you can walk"?
My therapist said, "Time heals all wounds," so I cut her.
I'm the joke, bitch.
What are Eric and Dylan known for at Columbine High School?
They pulled the greatest senior prank in all of history.
Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?
Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.
I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,
they bring me things. <_>
The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
Orphans get family-sized chips for free.
My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.
I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.
Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?
THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!
What is one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in the school zone.
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.
The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"
Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."
Are you a bullet?
*gets shot*
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?
Me: Gay puns are the best!
Also me: But I'm straight though.
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.