Irony jokes

In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."

To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."

I remember my grandfather's last words: "Is that loaded?"

There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

Who needs April Fools?

When your whole life is a joke?

"Rehab's for quitters, and I don't give up."

My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?

"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."

Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.

It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.

Wanna hear somethin' ironic?

When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run"?

Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom... Until they are flashing behind you!

My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.

A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."

The room was full of arm amputees.

Hey, can't wait to meet you! So join the crippling depression family!!

*on a date*

me - "I get to work with animals all day."

her - "How sweet! What do you do?"

me - "I'm a butcher."

Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."