Short jokes
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
Why do mountains never rest?
Because it’s ever-est.
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
What's the similarity between my son and a rug from eBay? I asked for a refund.
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
Is your name winter? Because you’ll be cumming soon.
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.