Short jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Depression medicine and therapy.
GO AWAY!
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
Why did Johnny drop his pencil?
To look up girls' skirts! 😬🤯😲😳😱🙀🙊
I wrote a joke on MH370… but I don’t know where it went.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?
Young Boy Never Walk again.
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
We shouldn't call gay guys "fucking cunts" because they aren't fucking cunts, they're fucking assholes.
AIDS?
I like my girlfriends like my children: dead.
Why are there adoption centers? Because it's a market for pedophiles.
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.
What do you call a sharpened pencil? You call a sharpened pencil a sharpened pencil.
What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?
Bubble 007.
Me.
Friend 1: *turns off lights*
Friend 2: *is there with us*
Me: Woah! Where did friend 2 go?!