Short jokes
What kind of air does Ariana breathe?
Helium?
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
B: Can you please stop roasting me?
A: At least the "roasting" that I did to you didn't burn you to death.
Why did the ocean wave?
It wanted to say "Hi Tide."
Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?
He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.
Period blood is like KFC, because it's finger-licking good!
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?
Raisin kids!
What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?
They can both carve a new emotion.
What candy loves shooting stars? Starbursts!
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.
I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.
He hugged me!
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"
I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.
"Cummy Beynis. Hahaha?"
Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?