Short jokes
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.
+1 Comet.
"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."
- Sun Tzu
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. She came crawling back!
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.
Dee.
Your hairline is so curvy now, Ice Spice has competition!
German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys.
American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun.
African XP farms: Cotton field.
The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.
My parents found my YT channel. I hate myself now, and I'm emotional.
SELF HARM
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
What's the most illegal activity in Africa?
Watering the plants.
What do you call a sneaky SCP-096?
The Spy Guy!
Why can orphans travel around so much?
A. They never get homesick.
What was Juice WRLD's favorite store?
Forever 21.
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.