Short jokes
Why was the piano waiting at the front door?
Because it forgot which key to use!
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.
When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they don't have their parent's email.
Why did the orphan fail all his classes?
He couldn’t do his homework.
Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?
A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
Your forehead is so big they call you the Leaning Tower of Forehead!
Run on a sandpaper floor-treadmill hybrid in a medium sized room for 24 hours. It will be fun!
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
Shrek and the Hulk became politicians.
And they created The Green Party.
You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."
You're so full of shit that the toilet's jealous.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
Who remembers when Gwen was the only thing people talked about on this website?
What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"