Short jokes
What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?
One is Super. The other is just soup.
I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.
What do Jesus and I have in common?
No one knows my real bday either.
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
Jesus was drinking when he made you.
Why can't people in Africa have medicine?
Because you cannot have pills on an empty stomach.
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.
He said he like Neymar so HIT THAT BOY LIKE FROM THE BACK!
What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?
Stand up.
What do orphans have in common with stray dogs?
Nothing, they are both orphans.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!
Your hairline is so crooked that it made Will Smith feel straight.
I would have a joke for my friend... but he can't afford the punchline.
Your hairline and your eyebrows are social distancing.
Why are emos jealous of light?
The lights are hanging.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
What is Vladimir Putin's favorite song?
Answer: Crimea River!
When people tell me to "go to hell," I tell them their address.